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Oh, moving… how we hate you. Getting moved into a new house can be a wonderful thing, but the process of moving sucks so badly. Especially when you have a two-year-old in the house. So here is this mommy‘s viewpoint on how to get moved successfully.

1. Don’t count on the man to do anything – My friend Abby clued me in to this. How true it is. We’ve been known we were definitely moving for several weeks now, and so far I have been the only one (with my mom’s help) to pack up anything. My boyfriend keeps saying he’s going to do it on one of his days off. At this point, the only thing he’s going to have left   to do is  pack up his own stuff, because we have almost everything else taken care of. I want to tell him to get off his ass and do something know he’ll do his part eventually.

2. Send the 2-year-old away. If you can’t send her away, have someone come stay with you (Thanks mom!) who can play ‘corral the baby’. – Trying to clean with a 2-year-old around is an exercise in futility. Trying to pack  with a 2-year-old around is a pain in the ass struggle, to say the least.

3. Be ready to feel like you haven’t accomplished anything for the first 3 days. – You clean, you sort, you box… you see very little visible evidence that you’ve accomplished anything. You get discouraged, you bitch, you smoke, you have a beer. Then, one day, out of the blue, as you are doing another box, you look around and realize “Wow, I got work done for once!”

4. Beg for boxes at least a month in advance. – If you don’t stockpile boxes well ahead of time, you’re going to end up paying out the butt just to buy some new ones so that you can just get the packing done already. I made this mistake. Luckily my friend Abby had several boxes from where she just moved. Thank God!

5. If the baby has to stay, remember the baby can do work too! – Yes, I made my 2-year-old help us pack. She put away 90 percent of the canned goods from the kitchen. Stacking? Putting things in a box? What 2-year-old doesn’t love these activities? So, I channeled her energies in a useful way! She also loves to ‘sort’ clothes, so she helped me gather clothes up to wash and put clothes in boxes. Washing down toys was a long overdue task in our household. A bucket of water, a pile of toys that needed rinsed off – and a lot of towels to sop up the mess. L swished them in the water, I wiped and dried. L put them in a packing box.  She got to play in the water, play with her toys, and put things in a box. What wasn’t to love about that job?

And I know I only said 5…but I forgot about this one.

6. Be prepared to spend money on eating out, because after being so busy, cooking is the last thing on your mind.

How true this is! It seems like anymore customer service is just a myth! This was a wonderful post that I felt like I needed to share because I know I”ve had this discussion with some of my friends, and this blogger puts it better than I ever could! So…read on!

Customer Disservice If you have the excellent fortune of knowing me personally, you will know that I have rather strong feelings about the way I (and others) should be treated when bringing my (or their) money into any establishment that trades goods or services for said money. Due to some yet-untraced genetic mutation, I expect to be treated like someone the company values. Kind of like a customer. What actually happens, however, more often than not, is that I'm tr … Read More

via Momma Be Thy Name

Remember when you could turn on the TV and see shows that were genuinely entertaining? Some of them even tried to offer a look at proper family values and problem solving? The Crosby Show is one of the first ones to pop to mind, even though that’s an old one. Heck, even shows like CSI are entertaining in their own right.

Then…reality TV came along…and television went to hell in a handbasket. Unfortunately, this type of programming could have been quashed early on, but some people actually like it. To my dismay, a lot of people like it. I don’t get it. I think of shows like…

Image courtesy of <www.mtv.com>

and

Image Courtesy of <images.pictureshunt.com>

and I’m literally disgusted. I’m disgusted that producers make shows like this, and I’m ashamed that so many people LIKE shows like this that they are taking over the airwaves. What in the hell is wrong with people? When did it become a good thing to WATCH people cheat, lie, backstab, get stupid drunk, get into fights, live in excess and generally be poor examples of humanity? How did this become okay? Is this really what you want your kids to grow up seeing on the telly? Is THIS the type of thing you want them to learn from? And face it, they will learn. You can feed me or yourself all the crap you want about how ‘they don’t see that much’ or whatever… children see. Whether its at your house or someone elses…they see….and they emulate.

We have people starving in America. People homeless. We have so many things that money could be put to good use for…and instead we have people getting paid thousands of dollars to be their natural douche-bag selves on television…and we like it? I’m…almost speechless. I say almost because I’m obviously still writing this post, so I do have something to say.

What about….

Image courtesy of <www.vancouversun.com>

Why was this so popular? Man and woman already have two kids…decide to have more. Have 6 more. Because all know they made so much money they were obviously going to be able to care for all those kids. They can’t. They get a TV show. We get to watch… husband and wife fighting, and kids fighting, and husband and wife fighting, and kids fighting…and normal household crap… and they get paid obscene amounts of money for it. Why are we, as a public, sending the message that this entertaining, and worth watching? How is this possibly worth watching? How can we think it is okay to watch something like this so that we can sit back and look down on them? Does it make us feel better to see this? To think ‘well, at least our lives aren’t this bad?” I genuinely want to know, because I do not get it.

I was thinking of reasons why this has become okay, and started thinking about the fact that I can’t recall the last time Hollywood produced an original movie. That train of thought led me to a few articles I’ve read here and there about how imagination/creativity is dying off in kids. How we’ve become so focused on success, success, success that we’ve neglected to allow our children to have time to imagine, to create, to PLAY. Not do educational play, not play sports…but just to play. To dress up in Mommy’s shoes, or daddy’s shirts, wander around the house with a wooden spoon, bopping things on the head, and proclaiming “Abba-cadaba! You’re a cat!”

Recently, I was at the hospital with L, and they had given her a bucket of crayons to entertain her. The nurse said she’d be right back with some coloring pages. Well, it was taking a while, so I grabbed a napkin, spread it out… and L and I colored on that. When the nurse came in with the coloring pages, I started to fold up the napkin and throw it away. She immediately stopped me and said “No, no! That’s a wonderful thing! What you’re doing is great!” I must have given her an odd look because she went on to explain that giving a kid some crayons and a blank piece of paper is one of the best things you can do to encourage creativity. That we place so much emphasis on applauding when the kids color inside the lines and stuff that we forget to let them just have fun and make things up. When I told her that this blank page coloring was a regular thing at our house, she looked amazed and… very proud.

That blows my mind. That that type of thing is apparently so rare that the nurse would look amazed. At our house, we have washable crayons and markers and things like that. It is nothing for me to pull back the curtain on our glass-front door and hand L some washable crayons. I let her go to town on it. I’m right there, handing her colors, and encouraging her to scribble and have fun. Occasionally I work in the ABCs or her name to try to teach her something. At the same time, she’s also learning to clean up after herself, because I keep a pack of baby-wipes at hand to clean as we go.  She actually gets mad if I don’t let her do the cleaning herself.

I can’t wait until she’s a little older, where she truly gets in to imagining things. I know I will be one of those moms who is running around the backyard with her, looking like an idiot as we ‘shoot’ space aliens, or play dress up with and have tea parties. I will encourage silliness, imagination, and play. I will not raise my daughter with the expectation that everything she does has to be a learning experience. I want her to do well, but I also know that she is a child and she deserves to have time to be a child.

In our house, we don’t watch regular programming anymore. We have netflix instant, so I can control what we see. L gets to watch an episode or two of Dora or the Backyardigans a day. Most of the time, though, L and I (or L and my boyfriend) are having fun together.  Kyle reads Lily a story every night before he puts her to bed. We don’t really yell at L when she makes messes. In fact, I’m generally helping her make the mess. Today I had to sop up water on the kitchen floor because she was bugging me about wanting to wash her hands, so I turned on the water, picked up the kitchen sprayer, and hosed her down. She looked like a drowned rat, but she had fun, I had fun, and it took me two minutes to clean it up.

I am in no way saying that I am the perfect mom. I’m not. Kyle is a better parent that I am. I am simply stating that I think we, as a whole, have forgotten the value of just being silly and having good old-fashioned fun with our children, and I have to wonder if part of what we are seeing on TV could be, in part, a reflection of that.

Okay, I’m stepping off my soapbox now.

A is someone who I’ve known since a few months after I got pregnant with L. She’s a good person. You hardly ever see negative comments coming from her. She stands up for herself, for others, and is filled with common sense advice. That’s kind of rare these days.

Anyways, a few months back, A had gastric bypass. She’s struggled with her weight for a long, long time, and made the decision to have this surgery. Since she’s had it, she’s done SO well. She looks so different even after just a few months.

I’m extremely proud of her. We don’t talk much. Maybe once or twice a month, if that, but I keep up with her doings through Facebook. Anyway, I  wanted to link you all to her blog about her journey with gastric bypass. If you know someone who is struggling with their weight, considering gastric bypass, any of that…please have them check it out.

Her blog is at http://gracefulsteps-myjourney.blogspot.com

Please check it out, show her some love, and spread the link if it’ll help someone who needs it!

Oh, did I also mention she’s a teacher AND a soldier’s wife? With a 2-year-old?

(Mature audience only. If you are under 18 or easily offended.. DO NOT READ THIS POST.)

Sex toys are something you ‘don’t’ talk about. Supposedly. In reality, get a group of women together, and it seems almost inevitable that the conversation will come up. However, there are still things that are unacceptable. It is almost acceptable now for women to have a vibrator. Acceptable for women to have a whip? That might be another thing entirely.

The attitude towards sex (and toys) has become much more relaxed in recent years. Sex shops used to be seedy or discrete looking things that respectable people did not dare venture into. Now sex shops are on High Streets, right next to clothing stores. They’re fun to visit, and while you might blush while entering one, there isn’t the same stigma attached that there used to be.

Just pray you don’t get caught by your boss walking into or out of one. Now, isn’t that ridiculous? What you do in your free time should be your own business, and no one else’s. It still isn’t though. There are still prejudices towards people who take part in behaviors that are not deemed acceptable. It’s utterly stupid. Sex is sex. Sex should be fun. You should feel free to do what is necessary (as long as its consensual) to make it fun for yourself and your partner… or just for you if you don’t have a current partner.

There’s a wealth of toys out there for you to experiment. You’re going to like some, you’re going to hate some, and some you are going to be indifferent to. However, you never know until you try.

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I’m going to start you off with the ‘easy’ ones, that most women at least have a passing familiarity with, and I’m going to try (when applicable) to give you three different selections from each  one.

1. The Vibrator – The vibrator is a wonderful thing, and while not a perfect substitute for having the real thing, it can come bloody close.  There are two main types of vibrators.

Bullets – these vibrators are small, discreet, but can still pack a punch. Now, I’m not overly fond of these types of vibrators myself, but others I know swear by them. They can come ‘bullet’ shaped, or shaped like eggs, and there are probably some other shapes out there that I’m not aware of yet.

The regular bullet... Image courtesy of

The Mouse. Image courtesy of <image.become.com>

 

 

 

 

Life-size (sometimes smaller, sometimes way, way bigger) – These are the ones that I favor. They’re bigger, noisier, but they just do it for me. Especially the rabbit, because it has a shaft to go inside you, and bunny ears to stimulate the clitoris. The G-Spot vibrator is another great one, although I will say you should have someone use it on you. It feels much better that way for some reason. Then there is the anal vibrator. I’ve not really used an anal vibrator, but what I’ve heard from friends is that they are fantastic and a good way to prepare yourself for anal sex with your significant other.

The Jackrabbit. Image courtesy of

G-Spot Vibe – Image Courtesy of

 

2. Whipping Toys – Lets face it, the best whipping toy is the flat of your SO’s hand, but there are some other ones out there that can do a bloody (pardon the pun) good job. Whips are pretty basic. You’re going to have your flogger-types, which are ‘whips’ but don’t hurt no matter how hard you hit with them (at least that I’ve found) and the ones that are going to inflict some pain. It’s up to you to decide which is right for you, and how hard you like to be hit with them.

Flogger – Made with a short handle, and several strands of medium-length short material, floggers are great for gentle stimulation. They make you feel a bit ‘explorative’ and kinky to use, but give soft, tender sensations. I recommend having your SO slap you lightly on the breasts or vagina with this.

The Flogger - Image courtesy of <shortandsweetnyc.com>

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Whip – There are so many types of whips out there. Short ones, long ones, single-tail, multiple-tail… So, so many. Whips are mainly for those who don’t mind a little bit of pain. I’ve been whipped, and it was definitely something that I’d have to be in the right mood for to really enjoy it, and also be with someone I trusted absolutely.

Kind of like a flogger, but the tails are much stiffer...and that makes a world of diffference. Image courtesy of

This one just makes me think “ouch!” Image courtesy of <i01.i.aliimg.com>

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Restraints – My, oh my… Restraints are a wonderful thing. The best thing is – you don’t need to go to a specialty store if you are just getting interested in restraints.  Tear a T-shirt into strips, rummage through your scarf collection… Soft scarves are some of the best restraints ever! However, just as an excuse to show you more pictures, I’m going to show you a couple of restraints you do have to go somewhere special to buy.

Fuzzy Handcuffs - Now, I don’t actually like fuzzy handcuffs. It could just be the ones I had were cheap, and therefore not well-padded. However, if you are in to role-play, handcuffs are the way to go!

Furry Handcufffs. Image courtesy of

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Under-the-Bed Restraints – This is very simple, very easy to install (Just slide the ropes under the mattress) and very fun. There is enough rope that you can put your SO (or the SO can put YOU) in all sorts of fun positions.

Basic restraint System.. Image courtesy of <cache.wists.com>

And so ends sex ed for the day… Tune in tomorrow for a look at some of the ‘rougher stuff’!

I have no tattoos. I have occasionally pondered getting one. A few years ago I decided if I were ever to get one it would be in the small of my back. To me, that place made the most sense. It would be less likely to stretch out or anything like that if I gained weight/lost weight and it would be easiest to cover up.

Then I learned about the “Tramp Stamp”. I was kind of pissed, to say the least. Just because I might choose to get a tattoo in a logical place, I could be branded a tramp? Hmph!

So, the issue just recently popped into my mind, and I did some quick googling. Urban Dictionary helpfully defines Tramp Stamp as “a tattoo just above a woman’s ass crack”  Then I had pictures in my head of tattoos literally like an inch above the vertical horizon. More googling followed.

I found…this…

Oh lord.. I'm scarred for life. <www.imgbit.com>

 

Yep, I can see how that one would definitely be called a tramp stamp. But…

I also found this one…

Courtesy of <fc01.deviantart.com>

 

Now, would this one still be called a Tramp Stamp? Really? I see no crack. I see no ‘signs of promiscuity’. I just see a pretty little flower design put in a logical place for someone who doesn’t want to worry about what gaining some weight will do to it.

Of course, there are lovely people out there (whom I adore for their punniness) who do something like this…

Courtesy of <cdn.crushable.com>

Now THAT, ladies and gents, is a Tramp Stamp!! One I cannot deny! That is just freaking awesome!!

Now, honestly, the location of the tattoo can be a ‘sexy’ area, but I hate to think that I could be judged as being a whore just because I got a tattoo there.

On the other hand, I don’t give a flyin’ feck, so if I wanna get one there, I will.

I’m thinking Yoda – doing the Peace Sign – would be appropriate.

I can’t read political news any more. Simply because when I read it, no matter what the words say, I ‘hear’ “Mommy, he pushed me!” “Nu-uh! He pushed me!” “Nu-uh! He pushed me!” “Well, you’re mean an’ you stole my toy!” “Nu-uh! You stole MY toy!”

The same dude who did Pan’s Labyrinth decided to do a book… and he did it bloody well. Both of them, so far. He partnered with Chuck Hogan, who wrote Devils in Exile. It seems  a match made in Heaven….or Hell. Depends on your viewpoint.

The Strain Trilogy is not a series of books for those who like their vampires sexy and shiny. These vampires are pale, ugly, and to keep them from being sexy in any way, shape, or form… They  have no genitalia. That’s right. The dudes’ manbits rot and fall off after they’ve been turned.

Unsexy vampire picture below!

got it right. This is pretty much exaclty how they're described in the books. Well, not exactly, but close enough.

Del Toro and Hogan manage to weave a dark tale that keeps you reading from cover to cover. You actually start out thinking the heroes don’t stand a chance in hell…and actually, that’s pretty much the view you keep throughout the books. HOWEVER, even though you ‘know’ they don’t stand a chance in hell, you have to read anyways.  The books aren’t overly long, I read each of them as they came out in about 3 hours a piece.

The main character is this really, really old fart named Setrakian. (I probably misspelled that.) Pawnbroker by day, vampire hunter by night. When he’s not popping his nitro-pills, that is. He’s actually a pretty cool guy, and the authors manage to get you perfectly inside his head.

Anyways, the Pawnbroker hooks up with a couple of others (I’m not going to give away all the details) and pretty much tries to beat down the vampires. They have some successes. One pretty spectacular failure. Wasn’t their fault, but anyway…They try. A motley group of individuals with no extremely specialized skills do a pretty good job fighting against a virus that would have me curled in the corner, whimpering.

If you’re looking for a good book that suits the horror-fan in you, but doesn’t have ridiculous sex scenes, or excessive cursing in it, I highly recommend The Strain books!

Picture the scene…

A “FOR RENT” sign on the front lawn. A bunch of boxes on the porch. That’s enough details for this particular scene.

Neighbor – we’ll call her A – comes along.

A: “You’re moving?”

Me: stops and stares.Nope, just looking for someone to move in with us. We’re providing the boxes they need to move!” “Yep.”

A: “Oh, okay.”

Here's your sign... <image from http://www.fanpop.com>;

Picture the scene…

You come in to work, hobbling. You are grimacing in pain, and rubbing your leg when you sit down.

Coworker – we’ll call her B – comes along.

B: “You feeling alright?”

Me: must not roll eyes. must not roll eyes. ‘Yep, I just heard faking like you don’t feel well is the newest craze.’ “Leg hurts.”

B: “Oh. What happened?”

Me: “Fell.”

B: “That must have hurt.”

Please, God... <image from http://www.newsrealblog.com>;

One more…

It’s almost lunch-time. You’re talking with a friend. Your stomach suddenly growls loudly.

Your friend – whom we’ll call C – who knows you hate stupid questions, decides to speak up anyway.

C: “You hungry?”

Me: “Nope. I’m practicing for the America’s Got Talent. Trying to train my stomach to sing the national anthem.”

Enough said. <image from whatgoeshere.net>

Friends: The people you don’t think twice before being snarky at.

Alright, so a few minutes ago whilst perusing CNN, I came across an article titled “Should all obese people lose weight?” by Madison Park.

Written quite seriously, the article talks about a few studies done and included some quotes such as…

“Our study challenges the idea that all obese individuals need to lose weight,” said Dr. Jennifer Kuk, assistant professor in York University’s School of Kinesiology & Health Science in Toronto. One in five obese people may not have medical problems, the authors estimated.

This just ticks me off. Big time. Understand that I am viewing this article through the lens of someone who has several family members who suffer from obesity. So, my reaction to that particular quote was to want to reach out and smack Dr. Kuk. Her study challenges the idea that all obese individuals need to lose weight? I’d like to know just how many times Dr. Kuk was dropped on her head as a child.

There should be no challenge to the idea that all obese individuals need to lose weight. If you are obese, you need to lose weight. Point blank. I’m not going to get into the reasons why people are obese, and I’m not placing blame on people for being obese. I’m stating the simple fact that even if you aren’t suffering from problems now, you will be. Excessive weight causes problems. It might  be as simple as breathing or hip/joint pain, but it does cause problems. If it hasn’t caused you problems, and you’re obese…just give it a few years. Wait, don’t give it a few years. Do what you need to get it under control NOW before it becomes a problem. For Dr. Kuk to suggest that we are torturing those individuals who are a ‘healthy obese’ by driving them to lose weight… Well, I want to know what she was smoking, and where I can get some of that!

Let me state that I do not agree with the way that society views obese individuals – as disgusting, lazy, etc. I do think, however, that we need to provide support and encouragement for these individuals to lose weight. Not only for themselves, but for their loved ones as well.

Then there was a quote from this individual…

“The key message is I can’t tell you how healthy someone is if you tell me height or weight on a scale,” said Sharma, chair for obesity research and management at the University of Alberta. “I have to do additional tests for other health problems.”

Really? Okay, doc, so if I step on your scale at 5’6” and weigh 400 lbs, you are not going to tell me that I have problems? You’re going to have to do ‘additional tests for other health concerns’. Wow, buddy, you need to get out of the lab and into the real world! Lets face it – if I stepped on your scale and weighed 400 lbs, there is something going on there. It might be a mental illness, it might be a physical illness, or something else, but there is something going on there that needs to be addressed. You might have to do additional tests to determine exactly what the problem is, but 400 lbs? 5’6”? That should be a BIG sign screaming at you that “HELLO! I HAVE PROBLEMS!”

 

Luckily, there were a few quotes from people who seems to have their head screwed on right, like Dr. Allan Rader.

Dr. Allen Rader, a member of the American Society of Bariatric Physicians, noted that a patient could need weight loss intervention even in the early stages of disease risk to “prevent or delay progression.”

Thank you, God. Someone with more than two brain cells and a PhD to rub together!

One of the closing quotes was that “Doctors agreed that there should be a more sophisticated method of assessing risk in obese patients, rather than just weight or BMI.” Oh. My. God. I think this is a case of too much education just makes you stupid. I really do.

Anyway, feel free to contribute your 2 cents!

 

 

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