Picture the scene…
A “FOR RENT” sign on the front lawn. A bunch of boxes on the porch. That’s enough details for this particular scene.
Neighbor – we’ll call her A – comes along.
A: “You’re moving?”
Me: stops and stares. “Nope, just looking for someone to move in with us. We’re providing the boxes they need to move!” “Yep.”
A: “Oh, okay.”
Here's your sign... <image from http://www.fanpop.com>;
Picture the scene…
You come in to work, hobbling. You are grimacing in pain, and rubbing your leg when you sit down.
Coworker – we’ll call her B – comes along.
B: “You feeling alright?”
Me: must not roll eyes. must not roll eyes. ‘Yep, I just heard faking like you don’t feel well is the newest craze.’ “Leg hurts.”
B: “Oh. What happened?”
Me: “Fell.”
B: “That must have hurt.”
Please, God... <image from http://www.newsrealblog.com>;
One more…
It’s almost lunch-time. You’re talking with a friend. Your stomach suddenly growls loudly.
Your friend – whom we’ll call C – who knows you hate stupid questions, decides to speak up anyway.
C: “You hungry?”
Me: “Nope. I’m practicing for the America’s Got Talent. Trying to train my stomach to sing the national anthem.”
Enough said. <image from whatgoeshere.net>
Friends: The people you don’t think twice before being snarky at.
Hahahahahaha!! That’s hilarious!
I bought a house in 2004. We decided to have everything hooked up before we moved in so we schedule the internet and the satellite company to come the day before we moved.
The satellite guy is in the house and the only thing in the house is a router, computer, and TV so that we could ensure everything is working before the installers leave.
So the satellite guy looks at me as he’s running the wire and says, “Moving in?”
I have a hard time being mean unless I’m angry so instead of saying, “Nope! Moving out. Just hooking the next family right up!” I lamely said, “Yeah..”
I knew I missed my chance but just didn’t have the heart to kick him while he was down.
I wish I had the guts to say what I was thinking half the time. I’d be a much happier person.